


Bang Chan's Blueprint

by woody1424



Series: We Are What Make Each Other Stay [1]
Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Flirty Lee Minho | Lee Know, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Minor Bang Chan/Kim Woojin, Multi, Past Rape/Non-con, Past Relationship(s), Past Violence, Polyamory, Protective Hwang Hyunjin, Protective Seo Changbin, Romantic Fluff, Shy Yang Jeongin | I.N, Soft Lee Felix (Stray Kids), Tooth-Rotting Fluff, i do not hate woojin but he will rape chan in this, stray kids - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-10
Updated: 2020-10-15
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26937802
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/woody1424/pseuds/woody1424
Summary: When Bang Chan gets accepted into the polyamorous relationship with his bandmates, he's scared he's not going to fit in their blueprint for this relationship.  Will he look past his faults and give this relationship a shot?
Relationships: Bang Chan/Everyone, Bang Chan/Han Jisung | Han, Bang Chan/Han Jisung/Hwang Hyunjin/Kim Seungmin/Kim Woojin/Lee Felix/Lee Minho/Yang Jeongin, Bang Chan/Hwang Hyunjin, Bang Chan/Kim Seungmin, Bang Chan/Kim Woojin, Bang Chan/Lee Felix, Bang Chan/Lee Minho | Lee Know, Bang Chan/Seo Changbin, Bang Chan/Yang Jeongin | I.N
Series: We Are What Make Each Other Stay [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1965619
Comments: 4
Kudos: 89





	1. Intro-Bang Chan:

Christopher Bang Chan is the leader of the K-Pop music group known as Stray Kids. Since he is the oldest, he finds it as his responsibility to take care of the other members with as much care as he can provide for each of them. He never gets too close though. 

He could ever deny how he feels for the other seven of them. In truth, he loves them, both romantically and platonically. Where would he even be without all of them by his side? Most days, he chooses to act like he normally does whenever he’s around them, but sometimes he just wants to place a kiss on one of their cheeks or tell them that he really means it when he says ‘I love you’. 

But he knew better than to even attempt something so bold as that. He had his fair share of doing something wrong the first time and soon coming to the full consequences of it. Before there were eight members, there were nine. Woojin was the first person that he can fully admit he confessed his feelings too. 

He had loved all eight of them with such a burning passion that he didn’t know what to do, so he did what he thought was best. He went to the used-to-be oldest of them and told him his feelings. That was also his first kiss with a man. 

It soon led to more that Bang Chan wishes every single day that he could prevent from happening. Woojin had taken advantage of him in ways that the younger could’ve never imagined the older doing to him. 

That was when he left the group. 

Bang Chan had swore to himself that he would never fall in love again. He would never let such a burning passion take control of how he felt and how the outcome would come out of it be in vain. It was his fault back then. 

_I was young; naive thinking that I could have what I wanted. I guess I was wrong._

But now he is older, and wiser nonetheless, as he never does anything to make the younger members have such affections towards himself. Even if he ended up having a relationship with any of them, he swore on his life that he would never give them the scars he received first hand. 

Now he only takes control of the projects by himself without a second opinion or help of any sorts. Sure, he holds important relationships with all of them, but he would never let them go over the border. His most treasured is the one with Felix Lee. 

He was one of the seven that brings the light into his day and never lets it leave his side. They’re both from Australia, so that’s another special bond that they share. They do get snuggly and affectionate sometimes, but Bang Chan is very careful to never let it cross the borders. 

But nowadays, Felix is starting to get a little more affectionate than usual. He now hugs the older with more force and dedication as an attempt to get a smile or a blush if possible. Then he smiles a whole lot more than he ever has. 

Then the _flirting_ starts. Felix takes advantage of using his natural deep voice whenever trying to seduce Bang Chan at the grand prize of a kiss, or maybe something more? 

Yet Bang Chan stays ignorant to it all. The other members, such as Changbin, Lee Minho, and Hyunjin, do the same thing with as much passion as the yongbok provides. Even Jisung, one afternoon, attempts to go in for a kiss. 

“Jisung-ah, what are you trying to do?” the older asked while slowly backing away. 

Jisung had the kicked-puppy look on his face when the leader had backed away. He looked down towards the floor as his mind raced with responses to answer the question. What was he going to say to try to kiss the one guy not in their polyamorous relationship?

“You have something on your nose, Channie. I thought I would get it off for you.” Jiusng lies smoothly before turning the corner and walking the other way. 

Bang Chan didn’t even reach up for his nose. He _knew_ what the squirrel was trying to do, so why did he lie about it? All that seemed reasonable to do is just retreat to his room. There was really nothing left for him here, so why doesn't he leave the group as well?

_I can’t. I will not hurt them because I’m not satisfied with myself, so I’ll suck it up and continue on. Now what is going on anyways?_

That was the most recent question that he seemed to ask himself most recently. 

Whenever he returns to his shared room with Felix, it’s found empty as usual. Felix usually stays in the room with him, but even since a month ago, Felix has been absent from the room. The oldest sighs before placing everything in its place. 

He places a coffee cup on the table, along with a few folders and documents, before flopping face first into the bed. He didn’t know what to do, so he just lays there for a minute. Thoughts swarm around his head like bees as he tries to push them to the back of his brain. He didn’t notice it, but a few small tears run down his face as the frustration mixed with his emotions starts to take over him. 

“Channie? Are you okay, mate?” a voice speaks.

The voice belongs to his yongbok as he quickly springs up off of the bed. 

“Yeah, Lix, I’m fine. Just...taking a break from editing.” he lies with a quick smile. 

“You look like you were crying.” the younger provokes as he crosses his arms to match the pout on his face.

“My eyes are just watering from how much I’ve been starting at that screen all day.” the older objects before returning to the work desk with coffee in hands. 

Felix rolls his eyes before going over to his little gaming set up on his side of the room. The obsession of Felix and his games has been one thing that Bang Chan can smile at. It is the one thing that Felix does that calm him down enough.  
  


But it does make the older mad when the younger stays up until they have to go back to the studio the next morning or so on. Needless to say, Bang Chan goes back to listening to the recording before editing the parts to where they are perfected and enjoyable for the viewers. 

And not even a minute later, he falls asleep in his chair. 

000

Bang Chan was expecting to wake up in a cramped position in his chair, from where he was editing, but he ended up in his bed instead. He tries to shift around, but he notices something is holding him back. He looks down and sees two noodle-like arms wrapped around his clothed torso with a death grip. 

He follows the arms to where he sees a sleeping Felix Lee attached to him. A confused look soon takes over his face as he lays back down in his sleeping position. The arms’ grip tightens as Felix buries his head in Bang Chan’s side. 

“Don’t leave...you warm.” Felix mumbles as he wraps his legs around the other’s waist. 

This causes him to laugh. Felix gets clingy when it comes to if he’s going to freeze or burn into a crisp. Bang Chan runs a hand steadily through the younger’s hair as he looks up into the ceiling. The warm bakery feeling of Felix is nice as he attempts to fall into the darkness of slumber again, but something else comes instead. 

_“Woojin...stop…”_

_“Isn’t this what you wanted, Channie? You love me don’t you?”_

_“No...I don’t want this...stop please…”_

_“No...you’re mine, got it? If you even think of telling the others, I will make you regret the day you were born, Christopher.”_

_“No…”_

“Stop...make it stop.”

“Channie?”

Felix shakes the other sleeping male as an attempt to wake him up. Bang Chan cringes as a painstricken expression passes his face. This causes Felix’s heart to break in two as he sees the pain in the older increase just a bit more. 

“CHAN! PLEASE GET UP!” Felix cries as he shakes the boy more violently. 

Bang Chan seems to snap out of it as he springs up. Quick uneven breaths escape his mouth as he tries to steady his breathing. Tears escape without consent as he starts to break down. Small mumbles leave his mouth as sharp breaths increase with the tears. Felix wraps himself around his brother before rubbing circles into his back. 

“It’s okay, Channie, I’m here.” Felix soothes as he continues to keep his grip on the older. 

Bang Chan just nods as he collapses into Felix’s side. There is nothing more for him to do than to let it all out. This is what he wants, a good relationship with Felix and the others, but why did one thing have to ruin it for him?

He knows that Felix is going to want an explanation, but what is he going to say? He knows what would happen if word got to any of the others; surely it would end with Woojin’s decapitated head on a stick. 

So Bang Chan chose to think past that as he just gives into the providing warmth that Felix illuminates with. The two Australians stay there for a moment as Bang Chan almost falls back into another deep slumber. 

000

“So...what are we here to talk about again?” the annoyed voice of Lee Minho rings throughout the room as the other members sit on the assorted couches and chairs.

At this point, it has been almost a week since the nightmare happened to Bang Chan. Felix is now bound and determined to set things straight for this relationship. Bang Chan needs to know, and now is a better time than never. 

“I think it’s time we tell Channie.” Felix claims as he looks at the rest of the group.  
  


Bang Chan sits there as confused as ever as Changbin and Hyunjin give the most alarming looks a human could ever give off. Jisung, Minho, Seungmin, and I.N give off smiles as they produce an attentive look towards Felix and their leader. 

“Okay...so Channie...how do I say this?”

“Say what?” Bang Chan asked with a calming tone. 

“We’re dating...like all of us are.” Felix confessed as he motioned to the rest of them. 

Bang Chan’s eyes widened as the words left Felix’s mouth. This was something that he has been worrying about for the past few months, and it had been happening without anyone telling him? He didn’t even know how to feel. 

Neglected? Happy? Betrayed?

_That's a little too much._

How does one play something like this off? 

“Cool. I’m cool with it.” 

_You are an idiot._

Felix smiled before wrapping the older up in a hug. He smiled and hugged back as Felix continued to squeeze tighter. Bang Chan was more joyous and appericative than any other emotion that whelmed up inside of him. 

This, in truth, was all that the blueprint in Chan’s mind had created for them. A happy, perfect, and calming relationship without any damaged or emotionally scared inputs in it. So when the news finally registered, he was happy. 

“There’s more, actually.” Felix speaks again as he now makes himself comfortable in Bang Chan’s lap. 

He nods as he awaits the news. He wants to hear what the younger is going to say otherwise. It can be good or bad, but he couldn’t give a reaction to the world at the moment. He sits and waits his fate as he watches as Felix’s mouth moves. 

“We want you to be our boyfriend as well.”

Those were not the words that were expectant. They were so sincere and honest that the oldest didn’t know how to reciprocate. His immediate reaction is to say yes, but there is also the other part of him that wants to run off and die. 

“So...what do you say?” Felix asks with sparkling eyes. 

Bang Chan’s blueprint is one that has never had a second opinion or changes when it’s set. So if he becomes a part of this relationship, where is he going to fit within the separate blueprints of his members, or should he say _boyfriends_?

“Yes, I would love too.”

_I guess I’m going to find out._


	2. Chapter 1: Learn to Love Me (Chan x Minho):

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bang Chan begins to get pestered the minute he gets into the relationship. Thank god for Lee Minho to pull him out of it, but when the younger decides to make a move, will Bang Chan know how to reciprocate?

Whenever Bang Chan agreed to be accepted into the polyamorous relationship with the rest of the band members, he decided to lay down a few conditions on his own behalf. He wanted to go at his own pace when it came to small affections and a possible tumble in the sheets. 

The members agree to his terms as they begin to say aloud what they want to do. They all wanted to kiss him, because why not, but they made Bang Chan just the slightest bit uncomfortable. Words started to fail whenever he opened his mouth to say that he just needed some time to himself, but one of them seemed to get the message.

“Alright people, let me interrogate the new comer. Now get out of here.” Lee Minho alerted as the other members complied to his commands. 

When the room was finally quiet, Minho claimed his spot next to Chan. The part about the younger interrogating the older wasn’t a complete lie, but in retrospect he just wanted to know the real truth behind whatever mask Bang Chan chooses to hide behind. 

“So, you’re new to this?” Minho starts off as he takes the other’s hand in his. 

“N-no. I’m not new to any of this.” Bang Chan admits. 

It was more than obvious that the younger was going to get the truth out of the man, but something was screaming at Minho to just leave it alone for now. So, Lee Minho, being himself, positioned himself confidently on Bang Chan’s lap. He looks into the chocolate brown orbs with such intensity as a way to get a reaction. 

All the oldest did was just stay still as he let Minho continue his little ‘interrogation’. That only made the younger more irritated that he already was. He noticed the holding back in the pool of dark brown, so he was going to try to break that. 

“You must be lying if you said that you’ve done this before. Because how you just reacted to me shows that you know nothing.” Minho sighed as he rolled off into the cushiony welcome of the couch. 

That caused something to tick in the mind of Bang Chan. Minho was trying to get him to kiss him. That’s why he was starting into his eyes with an indescribable look and nothing more than disappointment whenever he rolled off. He took a guess thinking that Changbin and Hyunjin are probably rough with him in make-out sessions. 

_ Is he really expecting that from me? Well, I guess I could give it to him. _

Minho noticed the flicker in the dark orbs as he climbed back into position. He looks intently into the older’s eyes before Chan moves in to kiss him. 

“Hold up.” Minho stops as he places a finger in front of the other’s lips. “You are  _ not _ doing this right.”

Okay, so now it was a little bit more obvious that the other members are rough with Minho, but how does he match that? He remains frozen in place as Minho lets out another annoyed sigh. Whenever he was with Woojin, it was only a short moment before they went straight to it. 

But now that he is with Minho and all of the time in the world, he mind and body freezes whenever he is expected to do something so small and meaningful. This is when he wishes he had run away on the spot instead of being stuck in a situation that gives him a mini panic attack. 

Minho grabs Bang Chan’s numb lanky arms and places them around his waist. He then moves closer to the older as he places his arms around his neck. 

“This is how it works. Did you not know what, Channie?” Minho began as he moved closer as an attempt to close the gap. 

The older fell into whatever spell Minho has placed over him as their lips connected. He didn’t do anything at first, but things started to escalate. He began to move his hands all around Minho’s back until he found his way under the fabric and onto the skin. 

The younger moved his hands all through the silky waves of hair until he felt the need to grip or pull to get more contact. He then noticed that Chan had found his way to the front of his body as he runs his slender finger across the structured frame. 

They broke apart from the kiss, since air is one necessity that humans need to live, as Chan met Minho’s eyes. It had been so long since Bang Chan had even envisioned a moment where he could kiss one of them. So now that it was real, was he ready to go again?

“You’ve gotta learn to love me, Channie~” Minho flirts before he pulls them together again. 

Chan isn’t the type to get physical, but his hands found their way back under Minho’s shirt. The kiss deepend as Chan’s tongue explores the younger’s mouth. It was a dance of sorts as Minho now puts his hands under the sweater that hides the other’s body. 

He allows his fingers to run over the ab muscles that Bang Chan worked for in his career. A whelming sense of dominance causes the younger to get pinned to the couch in one swift motion. Of course, this was Minho’s main goal, but Chan started to get hesitant in his movements. 

He wants to keep going, but something is screaming at him to stop. The passion and the love feels right in every way possible, but something was off. Minho noticed and broke away by sitting up and wrapping his arms around the older. 

“Do you want to stop, hyung?” Minho asks. 

“Yes? No? I...uh...I don’t know.” 

“You were hesitating, Channie hyung, so that means that there is something wrong.” 

Chan tenses at that, but soon deflates back to his position in Minho's arms. He wasn’t going to talk about it, not one bit, but he was ready to sleep if that was at all possible. The idea was soon suggested as Felix and Jisung pile into the room as well. 

“I can make some ramen!” Felix suggests as he snuggles into the otherside of the aussie member. 

“I can go get blankets and pillows and we can have a movie night!” Jisung adds on before making himself comfortable on Chan’s lap. 

“Yeah...that sounds nice.” Bang Chan smiles as the three boys smile in agreement. 

It wasn’t long before Felix was found in the kitchen and Jisung was running around the house. In the meantime, Minho lazes against their leader while texting on his phone. The messages were going out to the others that aren’t aware of what’s going on, and Minho’s accomplishment of being the first to kiss Chan. 

“Hey, Channie?” 

“Yeah?”

“Sorry for jumping you. I guess I should’ve just let you do what you wanted, but then again, you are a great kisser~” Minho smirks as a growing blush appears on the older’s face.

“MINHO! I NEED YOU IN THE KITCHEN, RIGHT NOW!” Felix yells. 

That causes the two boys on the couch to chuckle as Minho promises to be back. He leaves a small kiss on the cheek before running towards the man who is destined to set their apartment on fire. 

Jisung soon returns with a pile of blankets and a few pillows before throwing them all on top of Chan. This arises a giggle to come from the young squirrel as he digs out Chan from the pile. His hair is now frizzed all over as he laughs at the comfort of the blanket eruption. 

“So how was Minnie? Did he kiss you?” Jisung asks as if he was a highschool girl that just got the big news.

“Yeah...he said that I was a good kisser? I don’t know if that’s good or bad thing coming from him…” Bang Chan explains as he takes Jisung in his arms. 

“That definitely means that you’re really good! Minho barely compliments anyone on their cuddling, no even kissing!” Jisung hums as he snuggles into Chan just a little bit more. “He also got you more comfortable.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” 

“It means that you would even cuddle any of us a week ago! I missed your cuddles Channie~” Jisung whined as he now clings onto Chan. 

‘Hey stop hogging him, Sungie!” Felix complained as he came into the room with four bowls of ramen on a tray. 

Minho followed behind with a bang of M&Ms in his hands before plopping next to the cuddle pile. Felix, on the other hand, grabs a bowl of ramen for himself before sitting next to Minho with an annoyed look on his face. 

“What’s wrong yongbok?” Chan asks as he notices Felix shoving food in his mouth. 

“I haven’t gotten to cuddle with you yet today, and I really wanna…” he pouts before putting more ramen noodles in his mouth. 

“That’s not true! You cuddle with me most nights when you’re not with these guys.” Bang Chan counterclaimed as he went back to snuggling with Jisung. 

“But I haven’t today!” 

The conversation goes on until Minho picks out some rom-com to get them to stop arguing. 

000

It was maybe through the third move they watched until Felix and Jisung were now asleep within the abundance of Bang Chan and Minho. Felix's hair gets softly stroked by Chan as Jisung keeps a deathgrip on Minho. 

The two that remain awake just keep their eyes glued to the screen. 

“You still have a lot to learn, you know.” 

“What would that be, Minho?” 

“You’ve learned to love me, but you still have to learn to love all of them just the same.” 

Chan nodded before the two found themselves sucked into the dark calming void of sleep. In the mists of his thoughts, Bang Chan finds himself happy to know that he now fits into the blueprint of Lee Minho. 

But what about the others? 

_ I guess that’s something to worry about later. For now, I’m okay. _


	3. Chapter 2: Be Yourself (Changbin x Chan):

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bang Chan struggles to be himself around the others, thanks to what happened to him. So now as he spends the day with Changbin, he ends up reveling why he struggles to be himself.

Once upon a time, Chan thought that making friends with his now boyfriends was going to be the hardest thing in the world. He then sunk into the normal routine of performing with them and being around them at all times. 

That was when he caught feelings. The small things that he did with them had a new meaning. Every second and small gesture he did made him feel a certain passion and protection that caused him to stay near them.

_ It was like a gravitational force was pulling me towards them. It wasn’t that I wanted to be around them; I had to.  _

Then the whole thing with Woojin happened. That put his emotional level from where it was to where he never wanted to be near them at all. When he stopped seeing them, he went into a withdrawal, one that he decided to never recover from. 

So he stopped with the small movements and gestures and returned to work. It was a depressing time, but he managed to pull through. Felix, in all honesty, was the one that had caught on the most. 

By this point in time, they were all dating, so when the others were all worried for Chan, they discussed it. There were tears and mixed emotions as they soon found out their love and care for their leader. 

Bang Chan continued to keep up his fake act of how he believed the other members see as normal, but he did slip a few times. He began to hug them and even say ‘I love you’ without even realizing that he said it. Then Felix began to lean into it and even try for kisses. 

And now it leads to where he is right now. After his kiss with Lee Minho, he has tried to open up and be himself once again. The younger had said that he needs to learn to love the others just as he had learned to love him, but the question that still remains is how is he going to do that? 

He now has the peace of mind knowing that he knows his place in Minho’s blueprint, so now who is he going to go to next. His first instinct is immediately Felix. But when he's ready to discuss it, Felix is busy. 

Jisung, Seungmin, Jeongin, Hyunjin, Minho, along with Felix all had to go to some get together that they had been planning. So now that only leaves Changbin and himself in the apartment. In truth, Bang Chan was happy that it was Changbin rather than any of the others, except Felix, so he believes his chances are good. 

Changbin, along with himself, are always ready and willing to listen as they wear their hearts on their sleeves. Chan’s heart pounds in his chest when he finds the shortest of them all fixing himself coffee in the kitchen. 

He walks up to him with small steady steps before wrapping his arms around the other. Changbin doesn't even jump, but instead leans back into the taller before taking a sip of his coffee. 

“Morning, Chan”

“Morning, Binnie! How are you this morning?” 

“Perfect since you’re here.”

Chan blushes as he unlatches himself off of the rapper. He didn’t want to be a nuisance to him, so he just made a good distance between the two. If it were really his heart taking over, he would’ve annoyed Binnie until he was forcibly taken off of him. 

But his brian had taken over as his heart returns to the little cage inside of his chest. Changbin gives the older a look before walking over to the leather chair that awaits him. Chan was tempted to follow, but standing in the kitchen seemed to be a better idea than to chase around and pester a tired Changbin. 

“What are you doing, Channie hyung?” Changbin asks as he looks at the man standing in the kitchen.

“I...I was about to get some coffee?” he lied before making his way over to the coffee maker. 

Changbin laughed before turning on some show on the TV. He guessed that now he was going to have to make himself some coffee. He started up the machine before retrieving the sugar and cream from the cabinets. 

“You’ve seemed stressed lately, Bang Chan. Have you been feeling okay?” the younger asked from his current position. 

Chan wasn’t sure how to respond to that one. How does he say:  _ Yeah, I’m definitely fine because I can’t seem to get my feelings right because I got raped by somebody a year ago, so yeah! Any other questions? _

So, as his default response, he just shrugged before going back to making himself coffee. It was obvious that Changbin wasn’t buying it, but he didn’t show any sign about how he was feeling about Chan’s muted reactions. It just hurt him so much that the oldest of all of them couldn't tell them the truth about how he felt. 

He sunk deeper into the leather while taking tentative sips of his coffee. Chan continued to allow his brain to work over his heart as he moved into the living room with a cup of coffee. He chose his seat on the couch ignoring the fact that there was plenty of room for the two of them in the leather chair that Changbin resides in. 

“So, how are you liking the fact that you have boyfriends now?” 

“It’s great! I really like knowing that, now…” Chan replies. 

“Really?”

“Yeah, Binnie! I really love it!”   
  


“Are you sure? Because you never seem to be yourself around us. It’s like you put yourself off to the side for some reason or another.” Changbin stated. 

The look on Bang Chan’s face dropped as he looked at the creamy abyss in a cup. What is he supposed to say to that? He didn’t want to hurt Changbin, but was he already hurting him by not expressing himself enough?

“ _ Christopher _ , look at me. I know that you’re lying, and I want to know why.” 

Being called by his first name made him do one of two things. One of them being making him pay full attention to whatever is going on. The other, a bone-chilling shiver to run down his spine. This one made him do both as tears pricked his eyes. 

_ Why is this so hard? I just want to love them as myself, but what if something happens? What if I hurt them, or...they hurt me? I just want it to stop! _

“Make it stop.” Chan huffed out unconsciously. 

Changbin looked at the other male when the words left his mouth. It was official in the mind of Changbin that there was something wrong. He got up from his place and walked over to the fazed boy. 

Chan only kept contact with the coffee in his hands as he noticed the younger getting closer and closer. Now the shorter male sits on the other side of him as he pretends as if he didn’t say that he wanted something to stop. 

“Hyung, there is something bothering you. It’s  _ hurting _ you. The more that it makes you act the way you’re acting, the more it is going to make it harder to let go of it.” Changbin informs while taking the coffee away from the other male. 

He places it on a nearby table while still noticing that the lost look on Bang Chan’s face still remains. More or less, Chan knew that the other boy was right. The more he lets the memory get in his way, the more that it is going to eat him up whole. 

“It worries them, you know?” Changbin speaks while looking over to the older with teary eyes. “Whenever Lixie saw that you had changed the way you act for our benefit...it hurt him so much. He refused to talk to us for days. 

“One day we found him in the practice room, and...and he was  _ crying _ . He was so worried about you that it was slowly killing him. Killing,  _ us _ , Chris. That’s how bad that it affects each of us. We all cried about it, and tried to find ways to get to you.

“So that’s when Lix and Sungie came up with this plan to get you into our relationship. They tried everything in the book they were positive you would fall for, but you never did. But, thank god, you accepted us! What you did with Minho the other day...all it does is make me hope that you’re back.”

Changbin started to let himself go as tears ran down his face with no consent. Bang Chan’s eyes were wide with alert and instant realization. His fear of hurting them...he thought that staying away and changing himself would be the answer. But no, he was wrong. 

What he thought was right, was so,  _ so _ , wrong. 

The floodgates of his eyes break as all the tears he held back pour down like rain on a stormy day. More of him began to break as he felt the broken nosies leave his throat. His words were nothing compared to his actions that he displayed to the others. 

He curled around himself as he knew he was going to hyperventilate. Chan’s breathing became uneven and jagged as he tried to force himself to go back to normal. But there was no ‘normal’ anymore. 

The mask had finally cracked. 

“Woojin.” Chan breaths. All that comes out of his mouth is that cursed name. 

Changbin’s eyes shoot over to the older at the mention of that name. They never really speak of him, but they all know that he left on the worst terms with Bang Chan. Now why would that name even get mentioned now?

“What about him?”

“He...well...I d-don't know how to explain it, Binnie, without it sounding bad!”

“Just start from the beginning, Channie. Breathe.”

And so he did. He unwound himself as he let air open his lungs back up to their full potential. He grabbed Changbin and wrapped his arms around him like a teddy bear before he let himself return to the worst days of his life. 

“I liked you guys all this time. I didn’t know what to do. I loved all eight of you so much that I didn’t know what to do or say about it. So I went to Woojin, because he was older and I thought he could set me straight...I was wrong.

“The day I went to him, I confessed. And he kissed me. I thought that I made the right decision by telling him, and maybe that he would become my b-boyfriend. But that’s not how it all went....”

He stopped. The words that were prepared on his tongue had now melted into acid and returned to the depths of his throat. Changbin noticed and scooted back to where he could hold Bang Chan’s hands in his own. He traced the lines across his palm as a soothing gesture. 

“Continue when you’re ready, hyung.”

“B-but you’re going to hate me…”

“I will never hate you for as long as I love you, Christopher Bang Chan.”

More breathing. 

“Okay...so all in short, he t-took advantage of me…”

Changbin’s eyebrows raised in a split second.

“How? How did he ‘take advantage of you’?”

“He raped me. I told him to stop, but he did it anyway.”

There was such a deathly silence that you could cut through it with a knife. Things began to click in the mind of Changbin before he met his glaring orbs with Chan’s. 

“Take off your shirt.”   
  


“Binnie, it’s okay-”

“ **_I said, take off your shirt._ ** ”

Bang Chan soon came to the conclusion that he had no other choice than to take off his shirt. He had gone to wearing long sleeves for often and using a concealer because of the consequences of his choices on his body. He tossed the shirt aside as he stood up. 

Changbin took in every inch of skin. There were scars and cuts all over the toned body. They seemed to be healed up, but some still looked angry. Chan soon turned around to where more deathly ones made their appearance. 

He was sure that Changbin was going to erupt, but instead he just got up and hugged his hyung. Chan just smiled as he felt the immense weight of all of the guilt being kept in float up into the air. But how was he going to tell the others?

Changbin noticed the sudden tensing of Bang Chan and released his grip.    
  


“I know what you’re thinking, but we can tell them when you’re ready. This is...wow...it’s pretty bad, but I’m not mad at you at all, baby. I love you. I’m so glad that you told me.”

And so he got on his tip-toes and kissed Chan. Bang Chan melted into the feeling as hot, fresh tears fell down his cheeks and soon onto the younger’s shirt. They stayed like that for a moment, basking and staying in eachother’s warmth. Then they broke away. 

“Promise me, Christopher, that you’ll never hide anything again?”

“I promise.”

“Good, because I think they’re almost home.”

000

That night, Felix and Minho had brought home some takeout from whatever fast food place they happened to run by that following night. As I.N was setting out the plates, Bang Chan hugged him from behind while pressing a small kiss to his neck. 

“Hey Chan! What brings you down here?” the maknae asks while placing a small kiss on Chan’s forehead. 

“Hungry. So I came to see what you guys brought. It smells great.” Chan smiled as I.N giggled before preparing food for everybody's food. 

Being himself felt nice. He always wanted to do this with them, and now it’s a habit that he created over his confrontation time with Changbin. The two of them started off by just sitting around and hugging each other until Chan found the position that he liked best. 

Now, he just wants to make up for lost time. 

He goes over to his yongbok, who is digging around in the food, and picks him up slightly. He spins him around, causing him to laugh, before putting him down. 

“Hey Channie~!”

“Hey yongbok.”

“So, how is Changbin today?” 

“Good. I think I’m starting to like this ‘boyfriends’ thing.” he smiled before placing a small kiss on Felix’s cheek. 

“That’s great, Channie! I’m so happy!”

“Get a room, lovebirds, food’s ready!” Minho yelled as he captured Felix. 

They all laughed before sitting down to eat together. Everyone was laughing and talking, along with Bang Chan, as they scarfed down their food. It ended with a night as they all paired off to go cuddle. 

Bang Chan ended up with Changbin and Felix as they all retreated to the aussie’s shared room. Felix snoozes on Changbin’s back as Chan lays him down in a comfortable position. Then Changbin filled in, leaving enough room in between the two for Chan to squeeze in. 

When they’ve all settled down, Felix is now attached to Chan and Changbin moves into the warmth on the other side of Chan. He smiles before snuggling closer to the two of them. 

“Thank you, Binnie...for everything.”

“No problem, Channie, just be your amazing self.”

_ I will. _


	4. Chapter 3: You Can Talk to Me, and I’ll Talk Back (Chan x Hyunjin):

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything begins to go back to normal for Chan until he comes home one day to Minho, Changbin, and Hyunjin arguing.

Everything has been going great. Something had been bringing a new spring in Bang Chan’s step as well as a smile that seemed to last forever. It was all thanks to his wonderful boyfriends that he gets up in the morning with a smile. 

Now he savors every moment as he begins to fall into a new routine. In the mornings, he tackles Felix and Jisung in kisses and hugs before heading off to the kitchen. When he arrives, he snakes his arms around Changbin and gives him a good morning kiss on the neck before starting to make himself a cup of coffee. 

He then travels over to the cuddle pile of Seungmin, Jeongin, Hyunjin, and Lee Minho as they all watch some romance film that Hyunjin picked out especially for them. It always ends in a perfect, happy day. 

_ And I wouldn’t have it any other way. _

That was until today. 

As Bang Chan, Seungmin, Jeongin, Felix, and Jisung arrived back from the mall, there was a fight going on between the rest of them. It looked to be the epitome of rage as they’re screams and shouts could be heard from a floor down. 

“Guys, you two gotta stop. Forgive and forget, Binnie.” Minho attempted to reason as he tried to come in between the two boys. 

“Why is this just ‘forgive and forget’?! Look at him, Minho!”

The five boys, hidden away in the hallways, looked out and saw where they got a good look at Hyunjin. He was littered in bruises and cuts, that are now bandaged and treated, but it still sent a small sat through each of their hearts to see their Hyunjin like that. 

They all knew the rule about when Changbin was mad: get to your room as fast as you can and lock the door. The boys traveled upstairs and into the nearest room, which happened to be Chan’s, before shutting and locking the door. 

“What...happened?” Jeongin asked as he huddled closer to Seungmin.

“We don’t know, Innie, but we should wait it out.” Jisung mumbled into the youngest’s hair before placing a reassuring kiss on his cheek. 

Suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Bang Chan asked who it was before he heard the wheezing coming from the one and only Lee Minho. When the door was opened, Minho collapsed onto Chan before tackling him to the ground. 

“You guys get out of here, now. Chan and I have something to talk about.” Minho hisses at the other members before they all obeyed.

Felix looked ready to ask, but he was ushered out by a panicked Jisung. When the door was shut again, Bang Chan is faced again with the angered eyes of Minho. He was pinned to the floor, hard enough to where it pressed against one of the marks on his back, as Minho grabbed the collar of his shirt. 

“Why didn’t you tell us?”

It took nothing more than for the conclusion to hit him like a rock falling from the sky. Changbin told them when he wasn’t ready to talk to them. He was slightly angered, but all of that vanished when he looked at the younger boy holding him to the ground. 

“I wasn’t ready. Did Binnie tell you guys?”

“Yes...actually, he told Hyunjin and...they won’t tell me what happened that’s making them argue, but I know it has to do something with...well, you know.”

The name isn't said in the household much anymore. But, Bang Chan still has to wonder what made Hyunjin in his current state. He looked back at Minho as he noticed that his grip had loosened in the slightest. 

“So...when were you going to tell all of us?”

“Later. I wanted to get more comfortable with you guys before letting the sword dangle above my head.” Chan admitted as he sat up and took Minho in his arms. 

The younger struggled, but eventually gave up and suclked in the captivation. 

“I’m still mad though. Hyunjin got hurt because of this, I want to know why.” he sulked once again before curling into a small ball and making himself comfortable.

“Me too, baby, me too.”

000

Dawn turned into dusk as Changbin and Hyunjin refused to come out of their rooms. They all sit at the table with heavy hearts after their failed attempts to reach out to them. Bang Chan eventually gave into telling Minho the whole story, which ended up in receiving a few punches and kicks from the younger, but the sea is calm between the two. 

Chan sits around with his food as he looks at the others. Jisung plays with his rice while Felix is cramping ramen in his mouth. Minho and Seungmin share a salad as Jeongin starts to steal rice from Jisung. 

Things are just not the same without all eight of them there. That caused the oldest to wonder what dinners were like when he was avoiding them? When he was out late at the studio, or when he was sulking in his room when he was scared to show himself in front of them. 

He was told by Changbin that Felix was the one that worried the most, so was this one of the things that made him sad? If so, he is forever reminded to never skip family dinners ever again. He looked at the yongbok with a look of sympathy before digging back into his food. 

_ The two just need time to themselves. That’s what I did, and it works. _

000

It wasn’t long before the rest of the members ended up going off to their rooms to turn in for the night. He kissed them all good night before retiring to the couch. There was a movie that Jisung had suggested to him, so he decided that he should watch it. 

He pops a few chips in his mouth as he soon becomes engrossed in the movie. It's an action movie (because why not?) and Chan was finding himself interested in it. Though not interested enough to notice the figure that stands in the corner of the room. 

Hanging on the stairs sits Hyunjin with an emotionless look. 

Chan sits in his place to see if the younger wants to talk about it. He didn’t want to pressure Hyunjn to tell him something that he wasn’t ready to talk about, so he just let him sit there until he was ready. 

Hyunjin sat there in a pit of emotions, that he has no idea how to deal with, so he just sits there hoping that Bang Chan will notice how much of an emotional mess he is, but he just sits there staring at him. 

At this point, the leader knows that something is up. He gets up, pretending as if he is going to go get something from the kitchen, but ends up taking the backway to the stairs. He slowly climbs them before sitting beside Hyunjin. 

“You wanted to see me?” Chan asks as Hyunjin turns his head around so fast he swore he got whiplash. 

“Uh...um...yeah.” Hyunjin stutters.

“You don’t have to say anything unless you want to, Hyunjinnie.” the older soothes as he takes the younger in under his arms. 

Hyunjin smiled a little before looking back towards the older. He just let Bang Chan coax him before he backed away. 

“Are you okay, mate?” Chan asked while taking the other’s hand in his own. 

“Not really. I-I’m not ready to talk about what  _ I _ did. I want to talk about what happened to y-you.” he spat out while rubbing Chan’s knuckles with his own. 

He knew that this would happen eventually, he just didn’t know when. Just like he had told Minho, he wanted to tell them all when he was ready and knew that they wouldn't overreact like they sometimes tend to do. 

He just didn’t think it would be so soon. But there was a reason behind all of this, so he just took a deep breath. It made perfect sense that Hyunjin would be next to know. But why did it have to be so soon?

“Well, if Binnie told you the whole thing, I got raped by, um, well you know. But, it was all a mistake on my part-”

“Don’t say that.”

“Let me finish, hyung. Anyways, I loved all of you guys equally, and I guess I really wanted to tell all of you, so I did what I thought was... _ best _ . Good people make bad decisions, right?”

“But was it all  _ worth _ it?” Hyunjin asked as the eagerness to know burned in his eyes. 

“You tell me, Hyunjin. Were all of those marks you got from God knows what worth it? Was it worth any self satisfaction?” Chan countered with a flame in his eye. 

“Yes. It was worth it. It was worth knowing that I could know something and do something about it.” 

Bang Chan just looked at him with widened eyes. Now he had to know what he did; even though there was something in his veins telling him that there is something that happened that had 100% to do with Woojin. 

_ But how did Hyunjin even manage to find him? There’s just no way that he would just...appear. But even so, why would he- _

“Chan? Are you okay?” Hyunjin asked as he placed his hand on the older’s face. 

“Did you beat up Woojin?”

“Did I what-”

“Did you, Hyunjin? If so, why would you do it? He’s been gone and he only hurt me just...a few idle nights, but that’s not the point! Why would you go do  **that** ?” Chan bursted as if the world just came crashing down on him. 

Hyunjin looked down. He started to anxiously pick at the bandages that hang on his arms and legs. 

“That...is something I don’t want to talk about.” he sputtered out. 

“...okay then. We won’t until you’re ready.” Chan comforted. “How about this, I draw you a bath and we get ready for bed?”

“That...that sounds nice. Thanks, Channie.”

“No problem, now let’s go get you cleaned up.”

000

Bang Chan walks Hyunjin up to the bathroom before running him a warm bath. He had a few stray tears running down his face while Chan started to undress him. He removes the bandages with ease before looking at the bruises and nasty cuts. 

“Honey…”

“Don’t talk about it, please.”

“Okay. I won’t.”

The steam coming off of the hot water filled up the room as he helped the younger into the tub. Hyunjin hissed at first, but soon relaxed himself into the warm welcome of the warm water. Chan began to grab for the shampoo and conditioner to only get stopped by the younger. 

“Can you join me? I-It’ll make me feel better.” 

Bang Chan looked at the younger before smiling. He took off his clothes before catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror. The scars have grown old, but he can still feel like they;re brand new. 

He shook off the feeling before walking over to the tub. 

“Channie...he did that to you?” Hyunjin questioned.

“Yeah...he did. But it’s in the past and they’re starting to fade.” Chan optimized before sliding in behind the younger. 

“Now I’m glad I beat him up.”

“ **Hyunjin** .”

“...sorry.”

Chan shakes it off as he begins to scrub shampoo through the younger’s long hair. He was very careful to make sure every strand got special attention before washing it out. Then he moved onto conditioner; giving it the same treatment as the shampoo.

Onto scrubbing his body clean. He rubbed gently over scratch and cut while kissing over then when he washed them off. Soon enough, the younger was good and clean, and had to be removed from the chilling water. 

He dried off his hyung with care and affection and left kisses every place he dried. Then he grabbed the hair dryer and made sure the younger’s hair was fluffy and soft before going off to grab bandages. 

“Is this really necessary?” Hyunjin asked. 

“Yes. If you want them to heal properly, you have to bandage and put medicine on them. You also have to clean them regularly.” Chan instructed as he began his wrapping process. 

As soon as he was all bandaged up, he redressed him before cleaning himself off. He dried his hair with a towel and threw on his clothes before leading him to his room. They walked in to see a sleeping yongbok and maknae curled up in the bed across from Chan’s. 

They smiled at the sight, the temptation to join them settled in the air, as the two of them settled down into the older’s bed. Hyunjin curled up into the older’s side as Chan ran his hands through the soft strands of hair. 

“Please don’t do something like that without us knowing.”

“Who said that Binnie didn’t know?”

“Hyunjin-”

“I love you~”

“I love you too, but you’re in trouble.”

There was no answer, for Hyunjin fell asleep instantly. Later that night, Felix and Jeongin did end up joining them, but Bang Chan and Hyunjin never knew that. Everything resumed to be okay, except for the angry Binnie, but that can all be dealt with later.

_ I guess you can kill for love, but I never want to see it happen. I just want somebody to know if they talk to me, I’ll always talk back.  _

_ That’s all I want.  _


	5. Chapter 4: Cat and Mouse (Jisung x Chan):

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jisung begins to steal Chan's sweaters at night, and he begins to keep his distance from everyone. When they end up playing a game of cat and mouse, Jisung runs away until he can't anymore. What happens when the mouse gets caught?

“JISUNG, WHERE ARE YOU?”

And that is how the morning of Christopher Bang Chan begins. For the fifth time this week, he has gone to sleep in a sweater or hoodie and wakes up with the coolness of the morning hitting his bare chest. 

Now, he wears the last one that he has available to him while rampaging the dorm. The reasons that all of the suspicion has gone to the younger? He is the only one that can effortlessly get away with anything in the household other than Lee Minho. Along with the reason that it isn’t the cat lover is that he hates Chan’s sweaters. ‘Too itchy and stuffy’, he complains whenever he has to put them on for a source of heat and warmth. So now it all rounds down to Jisung. 

Another reason that piles onto the suspicious reasons of why Jisung is the culprit is mainly the reason that Chan chooses to wear the sweaters. To hide the scars. Of course, he showed Minho the wretched marks on his bare skin, but he would never show Jisung them. 

So now he’s been playing this stupid game of ‘cat and mouse’ to the extent that he hadn’t seen or even communicated in with Jisung in any way for the past few days. He opens doors and shuts them in an attempt to find even the slightest hint of the squirrel boy, but nothing prevails. 

Bang Chan sighs before throwing on his last sweater before going into the kitchen and fixing himself a cup of coffee. He is welcomed with a few good morning kisses to calm him down, but there is still no sign of Jisung in the mists of them. He shoves a small bagel in his mouth before heading over to the newly formed pile, known as Felix, Seungmin, and I.N, on the couch. 

“Have you guys seen Sungie?” Chan asks sleepily as he buries himself in Felix’s soft hair. 

“Yeah, he’s asleep.” Seungmin replies as he snuggles closer to the rest of them. 

“Why? We all have practice today and he should be eating.” Chan asked with more concern in his voice. 

It was unsettling to know that there was something going on with the squirrel-like boy. He’s always so open, so what could he be possibly hiding? These thoughts ran through Bang Chan’s head as he mindlessly sipped his coffee. He watched as the others got ready to prepare for practice, yet Jisung has had yet to emerge from his room. 

He sighed before heading to his shared room with Felix. The mouse has slipped away to his hole, so how long until he strikes again? 

“I know you’re concerned about him, but I still don’t understand why. I mean, he just stole you sweaters, Channie hyung, who hasn’t done that yet?” Felix questioned as they began to gather their stuff. 

“I know, but he hasn’t returned them yet, and I kinda want them back? Is that being selfish, yongbok?” 

“No, it’s not...but it’s not like he’s stolen all of them, right?”

“Lix, this is my last sweater.” he muttered. 

The younger giggled before I.N called up with the announcement that they were all ready to go. The two raced down the stairs and out the door as an attempt to get the good seats in the van. In the end, it ended up with seven bodies all being tangled up in the back with nowhere compatible to sit. 

They were all so loud that they didn’t even care to notice the slender body that slipped into the passenger seat.

000

By the time they had made it through all of the dances and routines that they have been assigned for future concerts and meet and greets, everyone was ready to head back and turn in for the night. Bang Chan wished that he could go back, but there were two things that he needed to get done. 

One of them is editing; the other being he needs to talk to a certain Han Jisung. 

“Jisung-ah, I need you to help me with some editing.” Chan called out to the other. 

The younger whipped around with such innocent eyes, Chan wanted to let him be, but there are things that need to be discussed, so he began to walk towards the studio with the other in tow. They soon arrived at Bang Chan’s office where the two took a seat together on the couch. 

It was then that Chan noticed that Jisung was wearing the exact same sweater that he had worn last night to sleep in. It was a tad bit big on him, which made him more adorable than he already is, and he seemed to hide in it as if it was a safe haven. 

It was one of Chan’s fluffiest sweaters. A teal blue color that he got in a big size for relaxation. It was good for trapping heat and making anyone who wears it feel comfy and cozy. Jisung now plays with the hems of the sleeves instead of meeting the older in the eyes. 

“Sungie...can we talk?” he asked. “Or do you want to continue to play cat and mouse?” 

A devilish smirk appeared on Jisung’s face as he leaned closer to the older. Chan knew that mischievous look anywhere, so when it was now on the younger’s face, he began to back up just a little. 

“Catch me if you can, Channie~!” Jisung grinned before going up and out of the room at top speed. 

Chan immediately followed as he began to chase the squirrel at every twist and turn. They began by going up the stairs, for Jisung to be sliding down the rails as soon as he made it to the top, and then running into closed doors for them to be opened again. 

By this point, he has completely lost track of where Jisung went. The last time he had seen the younger, he was running back up the stairs and into one of the rooms. Now he has found himself doing anything to get air flowing through his lungs once again before pursuing up the stairs. 

Each step was like climbing a mountain after a few straight hours of sprinting and tumbling around the studio. When he finally made it to the top, he slowly walked into each room thoroughly searching it before heading on to the next. By the time every possible place on the second floor had been checked, he made his way to the roof. 

The chill in the air was a relief to Bang Chan when he opened the door after climbing another tedious flight of stairs. He breathed in the fresh air before letting it out in a peaceful motion. He walked all over the roof until he found Jisung sitting on the railing. 

“Found you, Sungie~” Bang Chan called before walking towards the other. 

Jisung looked back with a sullen expression on his face. As the older person got closer, he began to notice a few things. Jisung’s face was slightly puffed out as there were apparent signs of tear marks on his face. Then the way that his breathing was still jacked as whenever he met the older in the eyes. 

“What’s wrong? You were crying…” Chan asked as he picked up Jisung off of the railing. 

“Cold. It’s cold.” he mumbled as he snuggled into the older’s body. 

“Then don’t run up to the roof next time, love.” 

It was then when Jisung chose to jump out of his arms. Chan looked at him in surprise while trying to get back closer to him. But all failed as Jisung backed away from him while clutching onto the sweater that covers his body. 

“Jisung-ah, what’s bothering you?” the older asks while keeping his distance. 

_ Jisung is normally so open with his emotions that it’s normal. So what is bothering him that’s making him react this way? And why does it have to do with my sweaters? _

“I know there is something wrong...but you don’t have to say anything if you don’t want to. We can just go home and get you in bed.” Chan offers. 

“That’s the thing.”

“What is?”

“I  _ want _ to say something, but I’m not sure what will happen. There is something off with you, Chris, as well as a few of the others. That’s why I’ve been stealing your hoodies at night. Yeah...I’m probably going to keep them, but that’s beside the point!”

Chan watched as his cheeks became red in embarrassment at the mention of keeping all of the hoodies that he had stolen. He can imagine what Minho is saying about it. 

_ “How can you even stand to be near those things? They are so...itchy! The only thing I like about them is that they smell like Channie hyung, but this is bizarre!” _

He chucked at that, but put himself back into the mode of getting this whole thing sorted out. Jisung continued to look at him with a hurt look without even budging from where he had decided to stay in his place. 

“How did you manage to hide  _ them _ ? And how did you even get them? I knew that Binnie, Minnie, and Hyunjinnie knew something about them, but why haven’t you told all of us? We are in this relationship together, Channie...so why... **_why do you not get that_ ** ?”

Tears poured down the younger’s face with every word that he spoke. Jisung found himself falling to the ground as anger and sadness overwhelmed him as he began to black out with every passing second. 

Bang Chan rushed over before he completely fell over and basked him in his arms. He carried him out of the coolness of the night and back into the warm building. Jisung was shivering in his arms as he carried him down the flat stairs and into the van that was awaiting them. 

He allowed his slender fingers to travel through the fluffiness of Jisung’s hair, softly brushing it out of his face, before leaving a trail of kisses that lead from the very top of his head down to his nose. The smaller boy squirms just a little, but Chan gets him back to sleep while whispering sweet nothings in his ear. 

By the time they arrived, it was close to midnight, so Bang Chan carried the two of them off to his room before drifting off into a peaceful sleep with the other boy in his arms. 

000

When morning rolled around once again, Bang Chan found himself shirtless and welcome to the coldness surrounding him. He rolled over, a feeble attempt to find warmth, before getting up and looking himself over in the mirror. He had changed into a pair of sweatpants and a sleeveless shirt before going off to bed. 

So why would Jisung steal this shirt when it already shows plenty?

_ That is a question that is going to get answered today no matter what. Today is the day the truth comes out...and that’s final.  _

He walks out of his room to be met with the presence of the squirrely figure of Jisung. He now stands face to face with him, silence passing like grains of sand in the wind, as Jisung looks at him all over. 

He touches one of the bigger scars on his torso before a tear whelmed in his eye. 

“They didn’t look that bad in the dark…” he whispered to himself. 

In honesty, he knew that Jisung had rolled on top of him the other night. He wasn’t fully asleep when it happened, so he just played it off. He felt Jisung’s bony fingers pull off his shirt and toss it aside somewhere. He then remembered the icy feeling of when he traced the scars that are imprinted on his body.

“They never do…” Bang Chan sighs. 

He then remembered hearing small whispers from the younger before the shell-shock of tears hit his body. More tracing before he left small kisses all around them before he finally left. The strangest thing is that he doesn't recall the younger leaving. 

“They won’t tell me...and it makes me feel like that it was worse than it seems. I mean, Hyunjinnie...he's all battered up, but yours is so much worse! I just want to know what happened.” Jisung mutters as he looks down at the floor. 

“I didn’t think I would even let Hyunjin or Minho find out as soon as they did, but it happened anyways. I want to tell all of you, but this continues to say something else. You stole my sweaters just to look at my scars, Sungie. You just want me to say the whole truth to you and no one else, right?” 

Jisung nodded. 

“Well...okay.”

He carried Jisung into his room and explained everything just as he had before. The explanation did lead to more questions, but he answered the ones that he was sure that he could answer with a truthful and upmost honest answer. 

“So...that’s why you never fell for when Felix and I were trying to flirt with you?” the younger asked as he snuggled up into the older. 

“Yeah...I was scared...so I just chose to politely ignore it and go on. Even so, I never knew that the seven of you had a thing that I didn’t even have any awareness to.” Bang Chan smirked before completely spooning the younger. 

“But what about now? Minnie says that you’re getting better at this.” Jisung holds onto the arm that is wrapped around his waist. “And, Binnie says that you're going back to being the you that we all fell in love with.”

“Do you see it that way?” the older whispers. 

“Yes...this moment? It’s perfect and something that you like to do. This is perfect, Channie hyung.”

“I’m glad...but never let me chase you again, that gets tired fast.” Chan laughs before planting a small kiss in Jisung’s hair. 

“No promises~”

_ That is the Han Jisung that I know and fell in love with. It doesn't matter how many times that I’ll have to chase him in his games of cat and mouse. You know why? _

_ Because every last ounce is all worth it.  _


	6. Chapter 5: I Loved You For Forever; You’re Finally Mine (Chan x Felix):

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Felix and Chan spend their normal day together, but when Chan has a nightmare, Felix begins to worry too much.

Things have begun to smooth out back at the household.

Jisung never kept all of Chan sweaters, instead every member at least had one of them in their possession. He’s happy to know that Minho has taken the liberty to straighten things out for the young squirrel, so he is now officially off of that hook.

But of course there is never a peaceful ending, right?

The day of the week is Wednesday. How he spends Wednesdays is within any range with Felix. They always cuddle or make out as a way to show compassion, so now as he holds the younger in his arms, he feels a smile stretch across his face. 

They sit in each other’s embrace as they soon feel themselves drift off into slumber. Chan hasn’t always enjoyed sleeping, but when he was with the ones that he loves the most, he always finds himself having a dreamless slumber. 

But that didn’t seem to be the case. 

000

_ The room was dark, only a small bit of light coming from the window nearby. Bang Chan struggles against his restraints as fresh tears run down his face. The cold air hits his body as he tries his absolute hardest to break away.  _

_ In the moment, the restraint holding his right hand becomes undone. He immediately goes to untie the others until he is finally free. He goes for the door with such a speed to only be held back by someone grabbing his body.  _

_ “Let me go!” he screams while struggling against the arms holding him away from his only escape.  _

_ “Oh, Christopher, I thought that this was what you wanted?” the voice purrs before caring him back to the bed.  _

_ “N-no...not like this. I don’t want this at all! Don’t you see that, Woojinnie?” Chan attempts to reason while using one of his sore arms to up the older’s face.  _

_ “All I see is somebody that’s available to me, Bang Chan. You just happen to fill that role for my purpose, and mile purpose alone. Oh, how I thought you were smarter than that! But no, here I have you under my grasp with nowhere to go.” _

_ Bang Chan was full of fear now. He knew everything that left his captor’s mouth was nothing more than the truth. He had suspected the strange behavior, but never acted on it. But now that he is under bounds, there is no escape from his mistakes.  _

_ Now he has to wonder what the others are thinking. What would they think about Chan and Woojin being in this room for a long period of hours when the door is always locked and the lights are always out? Oh, why did he have to let his emotions get the best of him? _

_ “Now, I think it’s time for your punishment, Christopher. What should I begin with?” _

000

Chan has never woken up so fast from a nightmare so fast in his life before. He could still feel the grasp of the older’s hand on his neck while the whole process of his ‘punishment’ began. He struggled to breathe as he tried to get out of the subspace his mind had created for him, but nothing seemed to work. 

That was until he felt a pair of lips over his. 

The tenseness that the nightmare had created was suddenly melted by the par of plush lips that coiled with his own. He closed his eyes and kissed back until all of the terrible feeling passed away with the counting seconds. 

When he opened his eyes, he was met with his yongbok cupping his face while keeping his legs wrapped tightly around his waist as if Chan would float away within thin air. He pulled away before wrapping his arms around the younger. 

“Hey...it’s okay, Channie hyung. I’m right here.” Felix whispered in his deeper tone as a way to calm down the older. 

He remembered escaping for the first time. He had found his clothes from however many days ago and ran when he found that Woojin was asleep. When he succeeded in getting out of the room, he ran out of there and got into the van that they all shared. He found himself in the studio alone to deal with himself and the physical and emotional pain that pounded through his brain. 

“Did you have another nightmare?” 

“Yeah...I did…” Chan asks as he feels the pressure on his neck slowly start to decrease. 

Felix sighs before curling back up into the taller. 

“You always have these nightmares, hyung, yet you never seem to tell anyone what they are about. They are really starting to concern me, and I want to make them better! But I don’t know how I can do that if you continue to keep to yourself.” 

He knows that Felix is right in every way possible. He also knows that Felix is the one person that he really never wants to endorse into the horror show of what happened in the past year. His eyes linger to where the younger one continues to stay curled up in his lap. 

_ He was the first one I fell in love with. He was the one I wished I went to first, but I didn’t. But now that we are here in this endearing moment? Why should I even ruin it? But he wants to know...and eventually they are all going to find out soon enough… _

_ What I would give to take it all back… _

“I feel like I finally have you back, Bang Chan. You’re getting better than you were when you weren't with us. I feel we're getting back to when we first met. I remember your handsome face...blonde hair that I wanted to run my hair though...heh. 

“Then your eyes...I wanted to make sure I could stare into them forever. I fell in love with you the moment I started to talk to you when we were not even in this band. I wanted you to be mine for forever.

“But then you started to drift away when I was so close to finally having you. It was like you disappeared from the face of the Earth. Then you came back, but you were different, and I knew it too. You didn’t have to say a word for me to know that there was something off about you. 

“I mean, you started to hide from us, and stopped with your small affections towards all of us. Then Woojin left. For me, you didn’t leave with him on good terms, so I still wonder why. But, I would  _ never _ push you to tell me something that you don’t want to discuss, so I kinda left you alone. But it hurt when you stopped saying that you love me…”

Chan now looks at the younger in the eyes, since Felix turned around. There was more bottled up in yongbok, but he continued to stay in the silence between the two of them. 

“You were the first one that I loved, Felix.” Chan whispers as he advents his gaze down. “It was you...and yet I didn’t have the courage to even tell you that I was so in love with you.” 

Felix jerks his head up. He looks at where Chan continues to look down as he begins to ramble on. 

“I love you so much that I can’t tell you the truth. I don’t want to hurt you in any way, nor fashion, so I keep to myself to protect you. I couldn’t tell you that I was getting abused by our oldest member or come to you when I finally escaped. 

“I became... _ so _ scared that I was going to become like him, so I stayed away from all of you. I stopped my little attempts at showing affection because I was afraid. Afraid of losing all of you. So that’s why I’ve been acting so weird lately…”

Felix looked at him with such widened eyes, before his look became a tad bit scornful. 

“Why...why didn’t you tell us? Tell  _ me,  _ Chan. We had gone through everything to get back together as one happy family, and you hid that from us? Chan…”

“ **I’m broken, okay?! I can’t even think straight because I get so scared of hurting all of you, and not fitting in with your new relationship!** ” Chan yells as tears run down his face so fast as he looks at Felix straight in the eyes. 

Felix stops his actions at that very moment. Chan is now crying as he’s letting everything go. He loves all of them, and this secret is getting way too far. By now, everyone should’ve heard him yelling and at least seen the ugly patchwork on his body. 

He can’t even find himself to look at Felix anymore. He is so scared, vulnerable as he begins to feel the rise of panic within him. He starts to see white and black before he feels the air passage to his lungs start to go out. 

He wraps around himself before he can’t see or hear anything going on around him. It wasn’t even a second later until he passed out completely. 

_ I love them too much to let them see me in such a broken state. Felix is the one this affects the most...he sacrifices himself for me. I want him to look up to me, not protect me.  _ __   
  


_ I just want to be perfect for them.  _

000

Bang Chan wakes up maybe a few hours later feeling drained and heartbroken. He doesn't feel anything, just the simultaneous ringing and the fogginess of his vision clearing up as he finds himself staring at the ceiling. He feels numb and empty as he looks around. 

To his surprise, he finds all seven of his boyfriends at his bedside with worried looks on their faces. Bang Chan’s memory remains fogged as he tries to remember what happened. As soon as his eyes fully lay on all of them, they all spring up to see how he is. 

Their mouths are moving, but he can’t hear a word that they are saying. One one voice stands out though all of the silence. 

“Channie hyung! Are you alright? I was so worried! Please...please be okay.”

“Felix…” he dryly whispers. “I’m so sorry.”

The noise, emotions, everything hits him like a train as he remains frozen in his place. Changbin, Lee Minho, Hyunjin, and Jisung leave kisses on his arms where there are just a few minor marks. Seungmin and I.N attend to his face, leaving small lingering kisses on either side of his face. 

Then there's Felix, his silver lining, laying on top of him with his head resting right under Chan’s chin. He runs his free hand through Felix’s hair as they all stay attached to their hyung. It wasn’t long before they all left the two aussie boys in the room alone in each other’s comfort. 

“You know...I  _ starved _ myself because I couldn’t get over how hurt you were.” Felix laughed as he now wraps his arms around Chan’s torso.

“Yeah? Well, I’ve hid scars and the fact that I got raped for over a  _ year _ because I love you guys so much. Especially you~” he smiles.

Felix sighs before wrapping his whole body completely around Chan. He never wants him to let go, nor does he ever want to hide anything again. He feels the eternal weight begin to be lifted with the entire truth being out to everyone in the relationship, and he couldn’t be happier. 

“I’m finally glad you’re mine. I loved you for forever, Channie hyung, and now you’re finally mine.” Felix whispers. “Now get some rest. You need it for tomorrow.”

_ And I couldn’t agree more. _


	7. Chapter 6: I Feel Good Today Because of You (Seungmin x Chan)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Seungmin and Chan spend the day together. What happens when Minho comes home with important news?

“Good Morning, Channie hyung!” Seungmin smiles before wrapping his arms around the other. 

Bang Chan looks back at the younger before placing a small kiss on top of his head. Seungmin is one of the most interactive out of the group, so mornings like this are always enjoyable. It just seemed to be just the two of them in the household as they find themselves planted on the couch. 

“You seem to be in a good mood today, Seungminnie~” Chan smiles as he wraps an arm around the the other male. 

The younger nods as he leans more into the grasp around him. Seungmin’s smile is one thing that everyone loves the most about him. The way that he does the simplest things can make anyone smile, well unless you are Lee Minho then that’s a different story. 

The adoring way that he looks at his hyungs is just another thing that makes anyone smile. And how can you forget the puppy eyes that he gives when wanting something? Anyone could die peacefully just from a simple glance from him. 

“So, what are you planning to do today?” Chan asks while pulling the younger into his lap. 

“I was thinking that maybe I can spend the day with you?” he suggests with those puppy eyes that everyone adores. 

“That sounds like a wonderful idea.” 

The two giggle before Seungmin closes the space between them. It was a soft, loving kiss that can make anyone’s heart flutter. So Chan, like any other human being, kissed back with just a shred of passion before they began to go deeper. 

Seungmin positions himself to where he is straddling the older before going right back in for more kisses. He winds his hands in Chan’s soft wavy hair as the other keeps his hands right on the hips of the younger. 

Their lips move in a synchronized motion to where at this point they are making out. Chan lays the younger on the couch to where he could get just a tiny bit more access. Moments like this are ones that he enjoys the most, but he never really admits it. 

He slowly begins to leave small kisses on Seungmin’s neck before going right back to his lips. Seungmin sighs happily as he is welcomed back into the warmth of the kiss. They stay like that for a moment before they break away. Chan lays on top of the younger and rolls around purposely. 

“Channie hyung! I can’t breathe!” Seungmin laughs as the older continues to roll around. 

“I didn’t know cushions talked!” he laughs until he finally lays in a position where he has covered up the younger head to toe. 

It was that moment that Jisung, Lee Minho, and Changbin walked through the door. 

“Hey Channie hyung! Where’s Seungmin?” Jisung asks as he walks over to the couch to press a kiss to the older’s lips. 

Seungmin was trying to push off the older and trying to signify that he was right under the older, but the two of them pretended not to notice. They all came over and saw how the older was trying to hold back a smile from where he had successfully captured the younger under him. 

Finally, after many failed attempts, Seungmin got the older off of him and jumped up off of the couch. Chan busted out in laughter as soon as he hit the floor with an audible thump. He looked at the younger with such a smile before rolling over with more laughs escaping his mouth. 

It wasn’t long before all of them began to laugh and get comfy on the couch. 

000

Day turned into night as all of the members returned home and sat at the table for dinner. Felix takes liberty in preparing dinner, which happens to be ramen, as the rest of them begin to discuss their day. 

Felix and Hyunjin went clothes shopping at the mall to find new dance shoes along with clothes that they could find more comfortable to practice in. Jeongin spent most of his day in bed. So it turns out the whole time Bang Chan and Seugmin were cuddling and laughing, I.N snoring away. 

The two laughed at that as Felix placed their separate bowls of ramen in front of them so they could all eat. That’s when some news came across the table. 

“So...uh...this is hard to kinda explain…” Jisung muttered while looking down into his food. 

“What is it, hyung?” Felix asked while shoving some noodles in his mouth. 

“Well, we saw someone that I think we can all say that we dislike,” Minho shoots a look at Hyunjin. “today when we were out in town.” 

It didn’t take Chan a minute to figure out who it was. Hyunjin looked as if he already knew, so he just fiddles with one of the bandages that he still keeps on his skin. Jisung, Minho, and Changbin looked ready to take Chan in their arms if needed, but he only stood up from the table.

“I think...we should just leave it for now. I mean, it’s not like he saw you guys, right?” Chan started with an ounce of hope in his voice. 

“That’s the thing…” Changbin growled.

_ It’s been a year since I’ve last seen him, and I’m proud of that. I want him to know that I’m not just some pawn of his, nor are my boyfriends. I don’t have all of the information, but I really just don’t want to know.  _

He looked at them with a serene look. Then he left the table, the food left untouched. Seungmin followed him with permission and pleas from the other, so when he reached him, Chan only looked at him with death in his eyes, but a smile on his lips. 

“Do you know why I was so happy today?” Seungmin asks while holding his hands in his. 

“Why is that, Seungmin?” 

“Because I got to spend the entire day with you, and...I was happy to see you happy with all of us. I didn’t see you frown once, and that was the best part. And then we made out and laughed; so that’s why I’ve been in the best mood all day. Because I love you, and love seeing you happy, Channie hyung.” Seungmin smiled before capturing the other’s lips for what seemed to be for the fifth time that day.

Bang Chan smiled into that kiss as if his life depended on it, sure a small tear fell down his face, but he could care less at this point. Seungmin was right, being with the ones he loves does make him happy.

“Are you going to go to sleep?” Seungmin asked. 

“Maybe...but I’d like to spend it with the people I love most.” 

Seungmin smiled before dragging him down the stairs. Needless to say, the night ended with eight bodies peacefully sleeping within the lovingness and warmth of each other’s grasp. Nothing was worrying them as they all slept. 

_ And that’s why I feel good today. _


	8. Chapter 7: I’ll Always Be Here For You, No Matter What (Chan x Jeongin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bang Chan sees Woojin once again, and he freaks out. When Jeongin reminds him of how life used to be, and a promise made long ago,

Today, the gang decided to go out into the city. After all of the stress of preparing for a future debut, a day in the city seems to be the best thing at the moment. They find themselves at the mall, where they have all split up to go into separate stores. 

Bang Chan found himself surrounded by Changbin and Hyunjin as they passed a few stores. They then pass a store that has a bunch of tech stuff for music producers like himself. Thankful for his memory, Chan remembers that he has to get a new set of headphones for himself, so he can hear the new sounds clearly. 

“I got to get something out of here.” Chan tells the other two boys. 

“Okay, we’ll be at that food stand if you need us.” Changbin says before placing a kiss on his hyung’s face. 

Chan rushes into the store to where he begins his search. He looks at the marvel of laptops, circuit breakers, and motherboards before he finds himself in the listening department. The wall is filled with wired earbuds and wired headphones until he reaches a section with the ones he was looking for in particular. 

He begins to shuffle through the endless possibilities of beats until he finds a set identical to the ones back at the studio. He knew that they needed to get a new supply of headphones, but they’ve all been so busy trying to get the debut down path that the time begins to slip through their fingers. 

So now he searches for a new pair of each of his beloved members. For himself and Changbin, he grabbed a solid black pair. Then for Han, he grabs a black pair with a red pattern. For Hyunjin and Jeongin he grapes a sky blue pair. Gold and white for Minho, then onto a pink for the remaining two. 

He stacks them all in his arms before finding his way to the cash out. Since all of the boxes were stacked so tall, he could barely see where he was going, so it was only a matter of time for when he bumped into somebody and the boxes spilled everywhere. 

“I’m so sorry!” Chan exclaims as he begins to gather all of the boxes up. 

“It’s okay!” a familiar voice spoke. 

Bang Chan paused just for that second and looked up. And how much he regretted it. 

_ I never thought that I would see him again. I was planning on never having to look at his stupid face again in my life. Alas, here I am looking straight at it. _

_ They warned me, didn’t they? They said that he was in town, and that they saw him, but did he see them? I guess I won’t know, unless I ask, but my number one priority is to get out of here.  _

Bang Chan resumed picking up the headphones and heading towards the checkout. He knew that he looked at him, but he never looked back. He checked him every few seconds to see if he was behind him, but he wasn’t there. 

Chan saw him walk through a few isles with some items in his hands, but never once did he come to the checkout line. But he did lock eyes with him. And oh, how much Chan wanted to beat him up and make him suffer on the spot. But after what he did to his Hyunjin?

_ I think I’ll do better by getting out of here ASAP.  _

000 

By the time that he managed to get out of the store, he was out of breath, his mind was spinning, and he was beyond ready to head home and collapse in his bed. He managed to find the two of his boyfriends eating some food at a nearby table before rushing to them in utmost hurry. 

“DId you get what you needed, sweetheart?” Hyunjin asked as the oldest out of all of them took his seat at the table. 

“Yeah, I did hyung.”he said while throwing a smile on his face. 

Changbin shot him a strange look, but threw it off when for some reason. Bang Chan then suggested that he was quite tired and would like to go back home. The three of them soon texted the group chat before their maknae said that he was ready to return to their apartment as well. 

And Chan has never been more thankful in his life for the younger. 

000

By the time the two of them got home, Chan was more than ready to go to sleep and forget that the day had even existed, but Jeongin seemed to not let that one slide by. He took the bag out of the hyung’s hand and placed it on the counter nearby before wrapping his arms around him. 

“Are you okay, Channie hyung? You seem to have something on your mind…” the youngest hummed as he kept his head buried in the older’s back. 

“I don’t know, Innie, things have just been…”

“Complicated?”

“Very.” he complies as he begins to soothe his temples with his fingers. 

It was true all in honesty. Everything ever since he caught the feelings a year ago made everything complicated. He looked at the youngest just for a moment before even a small string of memories came flooding in. 

_ Jeongin wasn’t the first that I feel in love with, but he came awfully close. The first will always be yongbok, and no one else. But for now, I remember every little detail of when I fell in love with him.  _

_ He was stressed. At this time, Woojin had already left the group, and since there were now eight of us instead of nine, more stress was put on all of us whether it seemed like it or not. So when I found him crying in his room all alone, I had to go see him whether I was afraid of what I could do for him or not.  _

_ When he saw me, more tears began to flood his face. I sat beside him and asked him what was wrong, and what I could possibly do to help. He said that thanks to the new pressure, he was getting more stressed out that usual, and he didn’t want to seem like a baby in front of the others.  _

_ So, I did what every person in the household would do, and told him that none of that is true. I told him that everyone was struggling in their own ways, and they’re all hiding it just as well as he did. I also enlightened him that people have different ways of releasing it too.  _

_ He asked me what I did with it, and I told him the truth. When I get stressed, I lock myself in a room where all I can here is my own thoughts trying to set myself back in order of where they belong. I also told him that by the time the process had finished, I end up on the floor crying.  _

_ The face he gave me was one that I had seen in nightmares of when I tell them all about Woojin. He collapsed on to me and told me to never ever do that process again, and to come to him instead. I promised him that I would do just that, hence me falling in love with him.  _

_ The sad part is, I never once kept to my word on that.  _

“You never kept your word, hyung.” he whispered. 

“I know...but maybe now I can. You told me to come to you when something is happening and my thoughts can’t be put to rest, so now I guess it is a better time than never.” I confessed as I hugged my knees to my chest. 

“In that bag, I got all of you a surprise in the music store that I like to shop in. While I was in there, I happened to encounter  _ him.  _ I ran away, sotra, but he still looked at me everytime we saw each other, but I began to get scared. 

“After what happened so long ago, I feared that since he found the others the other day, that he now has the power to harm all of us too. I used to be so scared that I would end up like that, but now those thoughts have been put to rest. 

“But I still wonder if he saw them. If he still has the same intentions of when he hurt me...but I choose not to think about that. Still, it comes into my mind every single time that I manage to see all of you, that maybe I could become that monster if I’m not careful. Innie...I love all of you, and I’m so scared of what I could do...and I’m sorry for that.” Chan finished with tears in his eyes. 

Jeongin looked at him with widened, innocent eyes. 

“So...that’s what happened to Hyunjinnie. Woojin...hurt him. Did you know?” 

“Barely. He never truly told me what happened, but I do know that they did fight.”

“Wow...I had no idea.”

The two stayed on their sides of the couch for now. Bang Chan was still lost in thought for a moment, but in the mind of I.N, everything was starting to make so much sense. He looked up at the older male to see that emotionless look that had begun to present itself all of those months ago. 

He was the one that was scared, not all of them. He was so hurt after his abuse, but he survived. It was so clear, so perfectly clear, now to the maknae as he looked at the other man on the side of the couch.

“You loved us.” he whispered. “Oh my god...you have to tell the others. You have to tell them every single word that you just told me, Channie. Oh...my...god...it all makes so much sense now.”

“Tell us what, Bang Chan?” 

In that moment, the rest of his boyfriends chose that moment to walk in. They had equally confused looks on their faces as they saw the two boys on the couch discussing something that seemed to be very personal. 

Bang Chan only looked at them in fear, which he never thought that he would do, but he only looked back to Jeongin. The youngest mouthed to him ‘is it okay if I do the explaining?’ but Chan already nodded no. 

_ The truth will set you free. Let’s see if that’s actually true.  _

000

“Channie hyung...I never knew that you felt that way.” Hyunjin whispered as the rest of them were still in shock of what was released from their leader’s mouth. 

Every word was like a tiny bullet of realization striking them with every time it fired. The events matched his story with such perfection that it brought all of them to tears. Chan decided that he had to stay strong as he let the words leave his mouth. 

But by the end, there wasn’t a single dry eye in the room. 

“So all this time? You were just...trying to protect us? How...how could I be so stupid? I was there with you, Channie, how could I not notice that you were just holding back? You were just trying to protect us because you love us…” Felix rambled before cuddling up more into Hyunjin. 

Chan nodded as a small smile escaped his lips. The other members were dying to ask more questions, but one managed to make it across. It was from the maknae that made him keep a promise he now swears to keep for the rest of his life. Chan couldn’t meet eyes, but he heard the question loud and clear. 

“What are you going to do, Bang Chan?”

He stood up from the chair he placed himself before looking at all of the members straight in their eyes. 

_ This is my moment, the movement, that I’ve longed for. I’m past the horror, the trauma, and the hurricane holding me back. For the first time in a while, I’m thinking about how I’m going to spend my life past tomorrow in a good way. I’m not letting them down again. This is my shot, and I’m not ready to throw it away again. And if I do, then at least I’ll know they are safe with each other.  _

_ For stay, for my boyfriends, for me.  _

  
  


“I’m going to find him and talk to him.”

  
  



	9. Exit- Bang Chan

“So what honestly brought you here?”

_ At this point in time, it is around midnight. Woojin is just about as busy as I am, so it’s been a lot of scheduling. Even though it’s not even worth scheduling.  _

“The truth. I want to know a few things since my hyungs are in danger because of you.”

“I would  _ never.”  _

“What do you get away with by just having me? I know you’re never satisfied with just one prey, so who would’ve been your next target?”

_ He pauses. In the street lamps, his face was one of conjectory as he continued to think. I watched as he looked at me with that look that used to give me butterflies so long ago. _

“Minho would’ve been nice, or Jisung at that matter.”

“You’re lying.”

“Yeah...I guess I am…”

“ **_Then who?_ ** Who would’ve you gone after?”

_ He gives me that smirk as he walks closer to me. His mouth hovers above my ear as he rests one arm on one of my shoulders. _

“ _ Yongbok.” _

“Why him?! Felix does not deserve that.”

“Because, if I succeeded in what I was hoping, you would be looking at all of their faces as you see how you let them down as their  _ leader. _ ”

_ I push him as far away from me as I possibly can. My fears, he must know them if that was his true intentions, but I would never let things go that far. After all, I did escape.  _

“You were so jealous of me, weren’t you? Because you  _ knew  _ that Felix, Minho, and even  _ Changbin _ loved me more than they loved you. So that’s why you did it, right?”

“Shut up, Chris. You have no idea what you’re even talking about. And why would I care if they loved you more?”

“How could you say that to me? You rapped me, and even worse, attempted to harm them as well. I knew what you were going to do as soon as I saw who you really were, Woojin. You were going to make me suffer over something that I never even had control over because you were so jealous of the relationship I had with them, and…

...because I got to be the leader.”

_ I knew it all came down to the one factor of who had control over everyone else. When I got promoted as leader, the change in Woojin’s aura became so noticeable that I was hesitant when I began to catch feelings. He now walks over to me and pins me against the building that stands behind us. I look at him as he looks at me with dangerous eyes. He smirks as I feel my confidence begin to lower, yet I never show it. A poker face stands between me and my feelings, so I’m sure that I’m fine for now.  _

_ “ _ I guess I really never regretted beating up Hyunjinnie. He was enraged when he found out, and oh! I can already see what Changbinnie’s face looked like when he saw the hyung covered in bruises and cuts!”

“I knew he didn’t start that fight on his own. I knew something about why he didn’t want to tell me and seemed to line up with you. He told me that he fought you on his own...but that’s not the case, isn’t it?”

_ That devilish smirk appears on his face once again. _

“He was looking for me, I’ll tell you that. So I decided to make myself seen as he wished. The anger on his face was apparent, so I gave him what he came for. I guess he really wasn’t expecting to lose.”

“That’s Hyunjin, isn’t it?”

“Yeah...I guess he hasn’t changed in a year’s time.”

“Yeah, I guess I really haven’t.”

_ I didn’t tell them that I was going to meet up with him and handle him myself. Felix and Jeongin refused to let me go on my own, yet I found a way to get around it. I wanted Woojin to be my fight, and my fight alone.  _

_ I guess that they found out since all seven of them stand behind us. The same eight that I fell in love with so long ago, finally reunited. But things have changed between us all, and I only with for the best.  _

_ That’s the last thing that I recall thinking before Woojin’s voice ruined it all.  _

“So, they did come, didn’t they? I guess it’s finally time for them to see you suffer.”

000

Bang Chan now sleeps on his bed in peace. He has been passed out for the past day ever since the fight happened. Woojin went ahead and got rid of him first before attempting to go after the others. He did forget one rule though. 

Never encounter a mad Changbin. Lock the doors and hide. 

The whole time that they were against the wall, the oldest had his grasp on the younger’s neck. So when the time to make him blackout came nearer, one squeeze would be all it would take to make Bang Chan pass out within a matter of time. 

For the fight, on the other hand, they gave the other a piece of their mind. The seven of them stand at their boyfriend’s bed side. They look at how pale he looks and the forming bruise, in the formation of a hand choking him, begins to turn a purplish-blue as time passes. 

In Bang Chan's perspective, he wasn’t strong enough to defend himself, but in the eyes of the ones that love and respect him? Their leader just risked his life once again to see their safety prevail. He suddenly stirred as his eyes began to slowly open. 

The younger ones begin to gather around him as the older ones keep a close eye. They all watched as Chan’s eyes fully opened as he slowly blinked them to clear his vision. When he finally became aware of his surroundings, he sat up in his bed and began to look around at all of his lovers. 

He only smiles as a small tear rolls down his cheek. 

“I’m sorry.” he says just above a whisper. “I’m sorry I ruined it all.”

000

_ Even though I was still passed out, I could somehow see what was all unfolding. Changbin and Hyunjin are full-forcing the man who caused me so much pain. They both relentlessly punch and kick as while the oldest fights back. _

_ Minho joins in and gives him a swift kick in the balls. Something told me that I was maybe a few minutes behind in this fight, for every one of them has some sort of mark on their face or arms, but I was still only in the sub-consciousness of my mind. I guess I was weak once again, but I did get the truth out finally.  _

_ “That’s what you get for hurting him. I guess you abused something so wonderful in him, so I guess that was nothing compared to all you did.” Minho sneers before going back to the huddle.  _

_ Seungmin walks over and stomps down on one of his hands as Jisung stomps on the other. They then move all the way up his arms until they are sure that they have made a shoe-print bruise on every inch of his full arm.  _

_ “That’s for how you touched him.” Seungmin begins.  _

_ “It’s also for how you held him back with those arms of yours. You will never do it again for as long as I live.” Jisung finishes.  _

_ Felix then walks over and bends down. He takes his right hand and coils it into a fist before punching his lip and allowing one of his rings to cut it open. When he’s done with that, he moves over to where his ears are and leaves a ghostly touch before deeply whispering in his ear.  _

_ “That is for how many times you kissed him in a way he never deserved. This, right now, is for how many times you threatened him with a single seductive whisper. Like a ghost, almost.”  _

_ Lix walks away before Jeongin comes over and places hand over where Woojin’s heart should be located. He keeps his hand to where he can hear the pulse loud and clear before taking his hand off of it.  _

_ “I’m not going to hurt you because if I did? I could guarantee that your heart would not be beating a single time after I got finished with it.” our maknae breaths. “Even so, that is for how many times you caused his heart to break, and struggle to rebuild with every memory you caused.” _

_ If I was conscious, I would’ve been crying. It would've been out of every emotion that I’ve kept stored away for so long. Hyunjin and Changbin pick him up and place his barley thriving body next to mine before Changbin hoists me up.  _

_ He holds me in a bridal position before placing a small kiss on my head. _

_ “You did so good, Bang Chan. Now he’ll never bother us again. I couldn’t be prouder of you.” _

000

“What did you ruin, Channie hyung?” Minho asked as he got closer to the oldest. 

“Y-you all got h-hurt.”

“And so did you!” Hyunjin shoots back defensively. 

He pauses as he touches his neck tentatively. It stings, just as he thought, as he looks at the others. 

“I wasn’t even strong enough to fight him off myself.”

“But you did.” Changbin chimes in. 

“By doing what?”

“You out stood him, and you withstood him. And even if the two of you did fight, I know that you would win.” Felix chimes before giving the aussie a small kiss on the head. 

He only laughed at all of the affection as a few stray tears fell down his face. They all stayed there for a moment as they all fell into the comfort of each other's arms. Bang Chan now lies within  _ his  _ lovers and no one else's. 

_ I’ve finally found my way into the blueprint. I’m with the true ones that love me and the ones that I love back. For now, I’m happy that the weight and fear of the past is now gone with the wind as I now found that we have won that war.  _

_ My blueprint is completed.  _


End file.
